As a marriage dissolves, few parents find themselves asking questions such as, “Should we stay together for those kids?” But eventually, many married couples consider divorce as their only option.
Despite most parents having lots of worries in their minds from the future of their living situations to the uncertainty of their custody agreement, they often worry about how their children will be taken care of after the divorce. If you are a parent and still worried about your child’s custody after your divorce, make sure you seek help from an expert family lawyer. Click here if you need the best lawyer in Ohio.
What are the emotional ramifications of divorce on kids?
It varies from child to child. While divorce is more trying for some kids, others bounce back faster than others. The good news is that parents can take action to lower the emotional effects of divorce on kids. A few supportive parenting approaches can go a long way toward helping children adapt to the changes caused by separation.
As expected, research has found that children struggle the most during the initial year or two following the divorce. Children will experience distress, anger, nervousness, and doubt.
But many children seem to rebound right back. They have adjusted to changes in their every day routines, and they grow familiar with their current structures. Others, however, never truly seem to return to “normal.” This small proportion of children could experience ongoing—potentially life-long—issues after their parent’s marriage.
What are the psychological effects of divorce?
Divorce creates psychological turmoil for the whole family. However, for children, the situation can be very frightening, confusing, and frustrating. Here are some things you may observe in children who have divorced parents:
- They may worry that if their parents stop loving each other, their parents could stop loving them.
- Grade-school children may worry that the divorce is their fault. They might fear that they misbehaved or assume that they did something wrong.
- Teens may become very angry about divorce and the changes it creates. They may blame one parent for the dissolution of their parent’s marriage or resent both parents for the trauma to the family.
Of course, each situation is unique. In extreme cases, a child may feel relieved by the separation if a divorce means fewer arguments and less stress.
Divorce-related stress
Divorce means children lose daily contact with one parent—often their fathers. Reduced contact changes the routine, and according to a paper published in 2014, researchers found that many children feel close to their fathers after divorce.
Primary caregivers often report higher levels of stress related to single parenting. A study published in 2013 indicated that mothers tend to be less supportive and less tender after divorce. Their discipline becomes more consistent and less effective.
Moreover, the logistical hassles are what make divorce the most challenging. Moving schools, moving to a different residence, and dealing with one parent who feels a bit more frazzled are just a few of the additional frustrations that make divorce hard.
Financial hardships are also common after divorce. Many families have to move to smaller homes or change areas, and they often have fewer material resources.
Risks families face
According to the Pew Research Center, about 40% of new marriages in the U.S. in 2013 included one partner who had been married before. In 20% of new relationships, both partners were married before.
This means many children endure ongoing changes to their family dynamics. The addition of a stepparent and perhaps many step-siblings can be another significant alteration. And very often, both parents remarry, adding even more changes for children. The failure rate of second marriages is much higher than in first marriages. Thus, many children experience multiple separations and divorces over the years.
How Parents Can Help
When parents go through a divorce, it can be a challenging time for everyone involved. However, parents can help their children cope with the psychological effects of divorce in several ways:
1. Encourage open communication: Children need to feel that they can talk to their parents about how they feel. Encourage your child to express their emotions, and actively listen to what they have to say. Acknowledge their feelings and validate them, even if you don’t agree with them.
2. Keep routines: Children thrive on consistency and stability. Try to keep routines as normal as possible, such as mealtimes, bedtime, and school schedules. This can help your child feel a sense of normalcy during a difficult time.
3. Avoid negative talk: It’s essential to avoid speaking negatively about your ex-partner in front of your child. This can cause emotional damage and negatively impact their relationship with both parents. Instead, focus on positive interactions and encourage a healthy relationship with the other parent.
4. Seek support: Divorce can be a challenging time, and it’s essential to take care of your mental health. Reach out to family, friends, or a therapist to help you navigate this challenging time. A parent who is emotionally stable can better support their child.
5. Be patient: Healing takes time, and children may need time to adjust to the new situation. Be patient and understanding as your child processes their emotions.
6. Seek Professional Help: Divorce can be a traumatic event for both parents and children. It’s important to seek professional help if you or your child is struggling to cope with the emotional and psychological effects of divorce. Counseling and therapy can help families to navigate the challenges of divorce and develop coping strategies to manage stress and anxiety.
7. Help Children Feel Safe: Fear of jealousy and concerns regarding the long run can cause a whole lot of stress. However, if your child feels safe, loved, and secure, it can’t just reduce clinginess but also decrease the danger of emotional health difficulties.
With your love, support, and understanding, your child can navigate this challenging time and come out stronger.
Takeaway
In conclusion, divorce is a difficult and emotional process for everyone involved, especially for children. It can have a lasting impact on a child’s psychological well-being if not handled properly. However, by understanding the psychological effects of divorce on children and taking steps to address their needs, parents can help their children navigate this challenging time with as much support and love as possible.
By providing a stable and predictable environment, communicating openly and honestly with their children, and seeking professional help when necessary, parents can make a significant difference in their children’s lives. Ultimately, it is up to parents to put aside their own differences and prioritize the well-being of their children, not only during the divorce process but also in the years that follow.
Divorce is never easy, but with compassion, understanding, and a commitment to their children’s happiness, parents can help their children emerge from this experience stronger, more resilient, and better equipped to face life’s challenges.
**Credits**
Law Office of Dmitriy Borshchak
About The Author
Dmitriy Borshchak is an accomplished family lawyer based in Columbus, Ohio, and the founder of The Law Office of Dmitriy Borshchak. His extensive experience and expertise enable him to assist clients in navigating through complex legal matters, such as divorce, child custody, and spousal support. Regardless of the intricacy of your case, Dmitriy’s empathetic approach involves actively listening to your unique circumstances and aspirations. He draws from his own personal experience with family law to offer compassionate guidance and well-thought-out strategies aimed at securing the best possible outcome for you.
