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What Does a Divorce Mediator Do? Understanding Their Role

Divorce is a difficult and emotional process and it’s important to understand the role of a divorce mediator so that you can make the right decisions. A mediator can help couples reach an agreement on issues such as alimony, child custody, visitation rights, and property division. Through mediation, the couple can come to an agreement without going through lengthy court proceedings.

A divorce mediator is impartial and they will ensure that both parties are treated fairly in the process. They will help you explore all your options without passing judgment or taking sides in the dispute.

They also provide emotional support during this difficult time by helping both parties remain focused on resolving their differences. By understanding what a divorce mediator does, you can use their services to help make informed decisions about your future.

What does a divorce mediator do?

Preparation and introduction:

Before the mediation process begins, the mediator will typically meet with both parties separately to introduce themselves, explain the process, and gather some basic information about the case. The mediator will also ask the parties to sign an agreement outlining the rules of the mediation, including confidentiality and the voluntary nature of the process.

Information gathering:

Once the mediation begins, the mediator will work with the parties to gather relevant information and documentation about the case, such as financial statements, tax returns, and parenting plans. This information is important for helping the parties identify the issues that need to be resolved and generating options for solutions.

Identifying and prioritizing issues

The mediator will then work with the parties to identify the issues that need to be resolved, such as division of property, spousal support, child custody, and visitation. The parties will prioritize these issues based on their importance and the level of agreement or disagreement between them.

Generating options and solutions

Once the issues have been identified and prioritized, the mediator will facilitate a discussion between the parties to generate options and solutions for resolving the disputes. The mediator will encourage the parties to brainstorm ideas and consider creative solutions that meet the needs of both parties.

Negotiation and drafting an agreement

Finally, once the parties have generated options and solutions, the mediator will help the parties negotiate and draft an agreement that outlines the terms of the divorce settlement. The agreement will typically address issues such as property division, financial support, and child custody and visitation, and will be reviewed and approved by both parties before being finalized.

How to choose a divorce mediator

Start by researching mediators online. Look for mediators who specialize in divorce and have experience in your state or province.

Ask your friends, family members, or lawyers for recommendations. They may know of a mediator who is reputable and experienced.

Check professional associations for mediators, such as the Academy of Professional Family Mediators or the Association for Conflict Resolution. These organizations often have directories of mediators that you can search for.

Some courts may have a list of mediators that they recommend or require for mediation in divorce cases.

Once you have found potential mediators, schedule a consultation with them. Here are some questions to ask when consulting a divorce mediator.

  1. What is your mediation experience, and how long have you been practising?

  2. What is your educational and professional background, and what qualifications do you have as a mediator?

  3. How do you approach mediation, and what is your mediation style?

  4. How do you maintain neutrality and fairness during the mediation process?

  5. How do you ensure that both parties are heard and understood during mediation?

  6. Can you provide references or testimonials from previous clients?

  7. How do you handle conflicts or impasses that arise during mediation?

  8. What is your fee structure, and what are your fees for mediation services?

  9. How long does the mediation process typically take, and how many sessions can I expect?

  10. How do you handle issues related to confidentiality and privacy during mediation?


Understanding the role of a divorce mediator is crucial for anyone going through a divorce. A mediator can help couples resolve disputes and reach an agreement without having to go through a lengthy court process.

The step-by-step guide provided above outlines the process that a divorce mediator follows, from preparation and introduction to drafting an agreement. Additionally, finding the right mediator is equally important. You can start by researching online, getting recommendations from friends or family members, or checking professional associations for mediators.

During the consultation, it is important to ask the right questions to ensure that the mediator is experienced, qualified, and has a mediation style that is suitable for you. With the help of a mediator, you can make informed decisions about your future and reach a resolution that works for both parties.