Whether it’s bubble baths, beer, or junk food, everyone has to find their own way to unwind after a hectic day. But the distractions of modern life and our panic-stricken news cycle make it definitely difficult to protect our mental health. It’s a problem that Dr. Venus Nicolino sees in her work as a relationship expert and doctor of clinical psychology.
Instead of unwinding with wine or trashy TV, Dr. V — as she’s affectionately known — meditates. “A five-minute guided meditation has been super helpful to me,” says the author of Bad Advice: How to Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bulls–it. She even creates her own positive lullabies before bed. “My newest practice is mental lullabies using positive self-talk right at bedtime. I give my mind things to ponder and map out while I sleep. My hopes for the future, gratitude for awesome little moments during my day, and encouragement for what’s possible with my next sunrise,” Dr. Venus Nicolino shares.
As the chairwoman and lead investor for the SoundMind music therapy app, Dr. V knows just how hard it is to conquer negative self-talk, loneliness, and isolation. The bestselling author and host of the podcast “The Tea With Dr. V” understands how self-healing is possible in today’s tough circumstances, plus other down-to-earth tips for chilling out in such chaotic times.
Dr. Venus Nicolino’s No. 1 Tip: Connect With People
“Avoiding activities you normally enjoy, isolating yourself, a feeling of overwhelm” are signs that your mental health is in jeopardy, according to Dr. V. It’s tempting to stay in bed on a bad mental health day, but sometimes the cure is getting out of your comfort zone and connecting with people.
“So many people don’t have a single person they can open up to. It’s a major problem in the U.S. that is devolving into a national tragedy,” Dr. Venus Nicolino reveals. “A Harvard study found 36% of Americans felt lonely ‘frequently’ or ‘almost all the time or all the time.’ Let that number sink in, and it paints an accurately ugly picture of so many problems in the country today. Our isolation nation began before the pandemic and worsened with the arrival of COVID.”
Instead of diving back into your TikTok swipe-fest or Instagram doom-scrolling, connect with your friends and family in real life.
If you don’t have friends or family nearby, it’s time to get out there and connect with new people. “Social capital must be seen as valuable once more. We are not too busy to talk to people, to interact, to see if someone is worthy of our trust. If we are, then we’re busy on the wrong things; things that will bring ruin upon us all,” Dr. Venus Nicolino cautions.
Block out time in your schedule to meet with people face-to-face. That might mean a once-weekly walk, coffee date, or happy hour. While you can definitely feel less alone by Facetiming friends and family, the connection needs to be in-person to get the full benefit. “I’m not here to put down technology. I think what’s important is that we attempt to maintain real in-person contact with people because people help us feel things all day long. Sometimes what they help us feel may not be good, and that’s okay because you have to figure out how to deal with some of those feelings,” Dr. V explains.
Take a Proactive Approach to Your Mental Health
Mental health is tricky. So many people wait until there’s a problem to remedy their mental health. But according to Dr. Venus Nicolino, it’s better to find proactive ways long before there’s an issue. “Practice mental self-defense regularly before anxiety takes a toll. You can’t stop a meltdown with a quick-fix meditation or impromptu yoga. We have to practice using techniques like that regularly before we need them,” she explains.
But how do you do that? According to Dr. V, there are plenty of ways you can proactively boost your mental health. Start by simply talking to other people. “Unless you have someone to talk with about these feelings, you may not realize how serious those issues have become. I encourage people to talk to friends and family and seek out a counselor — before problems arise,” Dr. V explains.
Feeling blue? Get up and get out and move that body, Nicolino advises. Physical exertion can do wonders. You don’t have to go too hard; just find an exercise you like and add it to your daily schedule. Exercise beats stress and gives you a productive way to channel your anxious energy. And a stronger, healthier body is definitely a fun by-product, too.
Thinking positive might sound like a cliche, but Venus Nicolino knows it works. Keep toxicity out of your head and heart. “I try to avoid letting too much mental garbage inside my head,” Dr. V says. If a certain friend pulls you into a spiral of anxiety, guard your heart against them. This isn’t about ghosting people or ignoring the news, but only allowing things into your life that you have the bandwidth to accept.
Self-Healing Is a Valid Form of Healing, According to Dr. Venus Nicolino
As an accomplished mental health guru, Dr. V hears her fair share of outdated, cliched advice. Instead of insisting that you pay out the wazoo for therapy, she argues that it’s completely possible to contribute to your own healing. “Like it or not, healing thyself must be part of our mental health solutions, especially for young people. We have a desperate shortage of therapists already. And deeply-indebted college graduates often can’t afford to become underpaid school counselors,” she explains.
Through her work with the music therapy app SoundMind, Dr. V sees just how powerful self-healing can be for someone’s mental health journey. “So many apps, and tech in general, get a bad rap. Much of it is deserved because addiction is seen by some as a proven path to profit. But there are tech tools that improve mental well-being. SoundMind is one of those,” says Dr. Venus Nicolino. “SoundMind offers on-demand (sound) therapy. It has limitless potential in this perilous era of anxiety, PTSD, and hopelessness.”
However you go about it, know that you have the power to heal yourself. Yes, professional help is crucial, but you can do a lot for your own mental health journey by taking proactive steps right now.
This Isn’t Just Your Problem — Dr. Venus Nicolino Says It’s Systemic
You might feel isolated on your journey to mental healing, but this isn’t just a “you” problem: it’s an “us” problem. “As friends, as relatives, we should be checking in on one another before a loved one’s mental health becomes a major struggle,” Dr. Venus Nicolino explains.
Through her work with SoundMind, Dr. V knows how powerful it is to bring healing to Americans through technology. “Our mental health crisis is systemic. It can’t be solved with a million couches or an army of therapists who love helping people,” she says. Investing in mental health is the best way to not only take care of ourselves but also to create a healthier society. Make time to connect with others, create proactive routines, and learn how you can heal yourself to radiate healing within your own mind and to the people around you.
