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Do’s & Don’t While Talking About Death to Your Child

And why is it important to talk to children about death and cremation?

Dealing with death has never been easy!

As adults, we find it overwhelming to deal with the situation. Imagine what kids have to go through to witness grieving, maybe for the first time in their life.

Death is an inevitable experience of life. It is a painful situation that we all find difficult to talk about. We all know that death comes in many unexpected, expected, accidental or prolonged ways.

Children might find it complicated to deal with sudden behavioral changes in people around them, and the parents or any adult around them might find it challenging to talk to the child about what has happened!

Here we have curated a list of Do’s and Don’ts while talking about death to your child. Have a look!


  • Right away, be honest about what happened. Reality explains your sobs and suffering. Your child can learn how to grieve if you are vulnerable and emotional.


  • Be ready for a range of different emotional reactions. Understand that your child will be sad and probably even furious over the loss no matter how you handle the situation. Recognize and respect your child’s emotions. Once your child has had time to process the original trauma, you will have another opportunity to address the situation.


  • Use the phrases dead or died whenever possible. Although many people find the words dead or dead uncomfortable and prefer the phrases passed away, lost, passed away, or went to sleep – research demonstrates that using such words aids in mourning.


  • Share information in small doses. Give knowledge to your child in little amounts at first to see what they can manage. You’ll know what else to do based on the questions your child raises.


  • Permit your kid to take part in ceremonies. Allow kids to choose funeral attire, memorial pictures, cremation urns, songs, and spiritual readings. If they do this, they will feel more in control of the devastating loss.


  • Give your child space to express their sorrow. Do not force your child to talk about dying. A child may experience loneliness and social isolation, which is very normal.


  • Your child should be prepared for what they see at the funeral, home, or service. Children should be informed of what they will see, who will be present, possible feelings, and what they will do. Give clear descriptions of the surroundings while describing them to small children.


  • Educate your child about life without a loved one. Discuss how it will feel to observe special days such as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and special occasions without your loved one.


  • Be prepared to discuss ideas and emotions frequently. For days, weeks, and maybe months to come, you’ll probably need to take care of the topic of death since mourning is a continuous process, check in, and be accessible.


  • Remember to take care of yourself. As parents, we sometimes forget about caring for ourselves during this time. Children learn what they see, so be a role model for self-care at this critical time.



  • Do not keep your child unaware of your sorrow. A child will learn that it’s acceptable and healthy to cry and feel sad after a considerable loss by witnessing you grieve throughout and after the death of your loved one.


  • Don’t be reluctant to talk about your loved one’s memories. Sometimes parents are unwilling to discuss their loved one who has passed away because they fear it would upset others. According to research, the discomfort of revisiting old memories or telling old tales promotes healing and closure.


  • Don’t let your feelings of helplessness, unease, or a lack of conversational skills keep you from engaging with your child.


  • When your child enters the room, don’t change the topic. By doing this, the subject of death is stigmatized. Instead, when a child is present, modify your language and degree of detail.


  • Don’t alter your everyday schedule. Children require continuity. As far as you can, try to maintain your daily routines at home and work. Ensure your child keeps participating in regular activities like school and social gatherings.


  • Think not that laughing is forbidden in death. Laughter is a powerful tool for healing. It shows how important they are to you when you’re about to laugh when remembering or experiencing something special with a loved one.


  • Don’t put restrictions on your child’s way of grieving. Everyone expresses grief differently. Accept that a new normal will need to emerge and that it will take time to get used to a significant death. Speak to your child’s school, physician, or religious group if you require extra assistance.


Why is it important to talk to children about cremation?

Fears of death and cremation are frequently rooted in a deep-seated dread of the unknown. In particular, this is true for children who are still learning about death and how to accept it as a normal part of life.

You may reassure your child and demonstrate that talking about a loved one’s death is acceptable, just as grieving is OK, by addressing it honestly and allowing them to express their anxieties. When they know they can turn to you for help, they’ll be more adept at processing challenging emotions rather than suppressing them. They’ll learn it from you, so in the future, they’ll be able to communicate about painful subjects like death and cremation.

In the end, Don’t Forget About Hope!

If you’re talking about death, don’t forget to include hope. Children may find it frightening to think about a loved one being there one day and gone the next. The life cycle will continue, and new life will enter the planet. Even though we may wear cremation jewelry that contains the ashes of loved ones we have lost, we still live our lives according to how our loved ones would have liked.